I was watching American Idol tonight, wondering how Scotty and Stefano were still there. I’m stuck between karaoke and a one trick pony. As Scotty wrapped up, I asked my friend if he’d just throw some dirt on me since I’d been waiting to die during the whole performance. Unfortunately, he declined though I stated he could put a few daisies on top so loved ones could find me to pay their respects. After a few ok performances, I’d almost changed my mind regarding my demise, but then Stefano walked on stage… this led to five minutes of emphatic begging for him to not crush the flowers when he placed the tombstone on my grave.
I really miss Simon, because the current judges are full of shit. They’re like an Oprah giveaway episode and everyone that performs “was a concert and You were a concert and we were at your concert and you get a car!” I disagree. I’ve had the same two people picked out for my bottom two and magically week after week they’re still there, like a recurring nightmare. Ahhhh! I shouldn’t be surprised because they didn’t name it “Country Strong” for nothing— a country advocate is a die-hard fan. Scotty McCreery will leave when the bible leaves the belt, ha- yeah right! Mr. Langone is a reflection of the new pop nation. America likes chipmunks and cookie cutter, his nasal tones solidify his place in this stand still. He’ll go on to make millions, be a heart-throb, and make love to auto tune.
And me…. I’m just sitting here muse sick.