I had a lot of plans for you, then Mother Nature ran in with my womb, like a gun, in her hand. She squeezed the trigger and yelled, “FREEZE, Don’t Move!”. The pain hit me immediately. I doubled over, stumbled to the bathroom and tore through the medicine cabinet for gauze and Excedrin (extra strength). After popping three for good measure with water from the sink, I sat down to assess the damage- the next couple of days would feel lengthy. On trembling legs, I stood and headed to my bedroom to put on my favorite PJ’s and then I laid me down and stared at the white stucco on my ceiling. I have decided to master the art of mending, healing, moaning, bitching, whining, complaining, emotionalism, wine, books, music, writing, cigars, and food… in no particular order.
The wound has somehow given me clairvoyant abilities and new powers of insight. I see a box of tissues and cry movies in my future… it appears a lot of my friends will prefer to call me instead of hanging out together… there is a tub of butter pecan ice cream, wait! it’s gone and there is a spoon in an empty container of butter pecan ice cream… Oh God I think I’ve woken up to my own murder!!! Nope, nope that’s just me waking up tomorrow morning…and what’s this some of my clothes won’t fit!? At any rate, I look forward to seeing you at the end of next week. Please keep me in mind for future events.