I have more than enough for my needs, yet still I want more. Call me a child of the U.S.A
“I’m American baby and I loves me some pie! I’m always craving another slice, never satisfied.”
Hello, my name is SouthernQuill and I can’t let go…
Growing up impoverished has turned me into an adult hoarder. I find it so hard to give shit away. I look in my closet and tags wink at me like memorabilia from pre-recession splendor. I’m horrible at spring cleaning because the clutter isn’t trash. It’s furniture, clothing, and knick knacks I recognize I should’ve donated years ago… yet every year I convince myself I do need that juicer! I AM going to make my own beef jerky, damn you!!! And I can’t give up that gorgeous ballgown I found on clearance at Dillard’s. Why? Because I just know as soon as I give it away, Oprah is going to invite me to one of her Galas. Then WTF!? am I supposed to wear? Hmm? My property has become “The Ring” and I’m Gollum. Sweet Precious, I am a glutton over-consuming to the point of waste. Our society says it’s okay. Depending on the culture, it can be seen as a vice or sign of status and wealth. Take a trip to villages in Africa, Haiti, or Cambodia where food is scarce, being able to eat well is something to brag about. The cold truth is I like seeing I have. I remember a time when my closet was bare along with the refrigerator. Though I attended a public high school, I felt like a Catholic school girl… my sparse wardrobe, weekly recycled felt uniform. So it’s become my personal achievement, you know, having “stuff”.So, I’m reminding myself what I need. I need to create. I need to laugh. I need to love. I need to understand. I need to grow. I need to help. I need to be.
I don’t need stuff. Being a good person is the only real life validation. It’s hard battling your heart with your mind, but I think it’s time I put 2 & 2 together. I have to quit psyching myself out. I think we all use the following lies:
I’ve gotta stop watching that Antique Road show. It surely doesn’t help. It is a prime enabler, convincing me that my baby shoes will be worth millions in 15 years;)
- -You’ll Use it One Day
Yeah, that’s a good one. I do believe that when you start finding items you forgot you even bought, just let it go!
- -Need It
I have to admit Oprah probably isn’t going to invite me to any galas anytime soon. You probably don’t need that bridesmaid gown because it was ugly anyway and you haven’t played football since ’78, throw away them shoulder pads.
This is the ‘Tomorrow, Tomorrow’ game that kills and destroys floorspace and counters.
You need to have power, but there are better things to steer. Try your life and what you want to do with it.
It’s a hard but necessary path. I look forward to the change. It’s easy becoming prisoner to the knowledge that nothing is ever lost, it’s safely tucked away in your home safe or crown royal bag. The truth is we consume. There will always be new things to have and experience. My mother grew up in a shack she called home, in a small town called Medon, TN. She shared this home with her 12 siblings, mom and dad, an aunt and uncle, and a grandmother. My mother would tell you it was a 2 bedroom home but my aunt will blaze in with a guffaw, “It was 1 bedroom and a pantry… 1 and a possible”. They came from nothing, raised us on little, and they all rose from the ashes and brought us along. Guess, I need to start dusting away the soot.
-draped strapless tube dress:$74.50
-metallic cross strap stud heel:$41.60
-Knowing that your most valuable possessions can never be
given, taken, bartered, or sold: PRICELESS
by Kimberley Gladney©