Push come to shove, I’ve got me…

I’ve been one of the fortunate few who has known what they wanted from life. I’ve always known who I am. I made a conscious decision very early to fight to be me. It is not an easy road in today’s society. It has, however, been a rewarding one. I wake up every morning and face myself in the mirror. I’m able to do so without remorse or regret.  I’ve taken slack from family and friends who did not understand me.  I knew, even then, there is no normal. Normal is whatever is natural to you.  I’m comfortable in my skin… I love myself. Don’t worry, I’m not a paragon of virtues, but I’ve learned to accept my flaws.

I strive for goodness. I give respect and honesty to myself and others. I have not won the popularity contest but I have won the character award. I am me at all times.

The popularity contest is fraught with restrictions:

-Say what they think you should
-Look how they want you to
-Be who they want you to be
-Think as they want you to

It doesn’t sound like a very productive choice for growth, does it? There is no happy medium. I suppose there are those whom get off at public adoration.  Nights alone must be hard for them however. They’re stuck with themselves with no one to feed their egos or love them as they are unable to. That’s what it must ultimately boil down to right? Women/Men who never learned to love her/himself. They only see themselves in others eyes and assess their worth from the world.

It’s foolish. The public is a fickle fanbase. I’ve never understood how some find it secure, walking on eggshells. I don’t mind scrapes. I have to live with me. I’m responsible for my happiness and hold no one accountable to it.

If I’ve failed at things in life, I tried.
If some don’t care for me, that’s fine. I’m not a person who gives negative energy nor do I speak with malice. I am my true self. So if someone doesn’t like me, I still sleep at night. Again, I tried…

Suppression of self is a ugly monster. Some pretend to be someone they are not to get a lover to like them. Some people buy affection.  Eventually, the real them pops out or reality set in and those relationships tank. Some lose good friends going with the “fair weather” crowd. They find themselves surrounded by people who don’t care about them, maintaining a facade… the “Group” image. In the workplace, you have the individual who tries to please everyone. This often results in saying one thing to one person and the exact opposite to another. Truth always comes out. This person is the office pariah, untrustworthy with vacillations.

I’ve watched those scenarios play out my whole life with a weary head and heavy sigh. I’ve found myself saying, “Why didn’t you just tell the truth?”. It falls on deaf ears. It made me realize people who lie are dangerous.
They are a threat to themselves and others.
They will harm themselves and others every time.

So I am going on a Self Love revolution. Urging everyone to be the person no one sees. Their true self. It is not as scary as it seems. You lose the weeds quickly but in turn you find yourself surrounded by some of the most beautiful souls, yourself included.

You don’t have to watch what you say, horde your opinions, you don’t have to match, you can laugh out loud, be silly, be serious, or whatever makes you happy.

Just remember in being, you’ll find freedom.
In Freedom, there is Peace.
Peace of Mind leads to Happiness.

I’m out the box and I love life. I find humor in many things. I hate mornings and cold.
Sue me.

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