The Cure for Alcoholism is a Vodka Tonic

Naltrexone(oral)
From: Healthwise
Brand: ReVia

 

New fix (pun intended) on the market has been created to help those suffering from proof and percentage dependency.  The kicker is: YOU STILL GET TO DRINK.

“Drinking alcohol releases endorphins, the body’s own feel-good substances.  These endorphins, head straight for the brain’s opiate receptors, which are especially sensitive in people who are genetically predisposed to alcoholism.  Naltrexone, taken before drinking, causes the endorphins to bounce off the opiate receptors.”

–according to Roy Eskapa, Ph.D., author of controversial book, The Cure for Alcoholism: Drink Your Way Sober without Willpower, Abstinence or Discomfort (BenBella Books, 2008).

This new drug acts as a soccer goalie blocking endorphins from making contact with the receptors. Since reinforcement doesn’t occur, the “Give it to me, I NEED it to breathe” behavior ceases, and the problem drinker eventually loses interest in liquor. According to proponents of Naltrexone, after three or four months, the user would still be able to drink, but find the urge to imbibe go away.

Supposedly…

Apparently some people’s wiring is more susceptible to the drug than others. While some are getting better, others on the drug just get Drunk! In an ironic way, it’s kind of a win/win situation. Just make sure you read the small print. Most alcoholics become extremely paranoid and defensive when inebriated [listen for,”Nobody loves me… you’re all plotting against me… I’mmm nut ddrrunkh” in your own family gatherings] so the doctor recommends that Naltrexone be given by a family member/caregiver. This is to make sure it’s used as prescribed. You don’t want to give the dog a bone until he learns a few tricks.  Now, the funniest thing about this drug (that you take before drinking) are the warnings listed on their website.

the first Warning:

Do not use narcotic drugs or alcohol while taking Naltrexone oral. Never try to overcome the effects of the medication by taking large doses of narcotic drugs or alcohol. Doing so could result in dangerous effects, including coma and death. Ask your doctor before using any prescription or over-the-counter medicine to treat a cold, cough, diarrhea, or pain while taking Naltrexone oral. These medicines may contain narcotics or alcohol.

So you’re giving a drunk a pill to take with alcohol that is supposed to cure his alcoholism in time but the drunk is not to consume large amounts of whiskey in the interim because to do so could cause death or a coma.  Hmmm…Wait A Minute!!  Something is fishy here drug company and I don’t like it ;(

The second Warning:

Naltrexone oral can cause side effects that may impair your thinking or reactions. Be careful if you drive or do anything that requires you to be awake and alert.

It could impair your thinking/reactions. Yeah, that and the hard liquor you’re taking with it. And it doesn’t say don’t drive or you shouldn’t, like Oxycontin for a ankle sprain does. No, this junkie fixer upper says “Be Careful” when you do drive and no power tools!

The third Warning:

Carry an ID card or wear a medical alert bracelet stating that you are using Naltrexone, in case of emergency. Any doctor, dentist, or emergency medical care provider who treats you should know that you are using this medication.

Percocet has never made anyone wear a bracelet or bangle…

What really makes this help ridiculous is you’re not supposed to take it if you are allergic to Naltrexone, or if you have an addiction to narcotics, a history of alcohol/narcotic drug use within the past 7-10 days, drug or alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

Uhhh…..

and BEFORE taking Naltrexone, the person who has drunk too much for years and still does needs to tell the doctor if he/she is allergic to any drugs, or if they have kidney disease, liver disease, or a bleeding disorder such as hemophilia (if you are using Naltrexone oral injection).  FDA pregnancy category C also states this medication (that you take while drinking) may be harmful to an unborn baby and shouldn’t be used without telling the doctor if there are plans to breast-feed.

They also stressed you should stop taking Naltrexone IMMEDIATELY if you experience the following side effects which seem a lot like drunk/hungover systems and make me wonder how the alcoholic is going to recognize it’s not the bourbon but the medicine… no, the other medicine….not, the gin, but the one the doctor gave.

  • blurred vision or eye problems;
  • fast heartbeat;
  • mood changes, hallucinations (seeing or hearing things), confusion, thoughts of hurting yourself;
  • nausea, stomach pain, low fever, loss of appetite, dark urine, clay-colored stools, jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes);
  • ear pain, ringing in your ears;
  • skin rash or itching; or
  • wheezing, difficulty breathing.
  • Less serious side effects may include:
  • feeling anxious, nervous, restless, or irritable;
  • feeling light-headed, fainting;
  • increased thirst;
  • muscle or joint aches;
  • weakness or tiredness;
  • sleep problems (insomnia); or
  • decreased sex drive, impotence, or difficulty having an orgasm.

And this isn’t even a complete list of side effects as others may occur.

I know, I know… WTF!?

Damn Naltrexone!

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8 Comments

Filed under $#!T& and Giggles

8 responses to “The Cure for Alcoholism is a Vodka Tonic

  1. Am I able to buy this in the store as well or simply online?

    • Hi ; )

      Based on what I could gather/research online, it is used as part of an overall program that may include counseling, attending support group meetings, and other treatment recommended by your doctor. Thanks for reading and good luck with your recovery. Please do additional research… I wrote this entry from a satirical perspective but urge that you consult with your doctor and self help groups to find what works best for you. Alcoholism/Addiction affects every family and person in some way whether it be OCD, Vanity, Drugs, etc.

      I wish you the best and my thoughts are with you.

      –Kg

  2. I would like to thank you for the endeavors you have made in publishing this article. I am trusting the same best work from you in the future as well. In fact your fanciful writing abilities has inspired me to start my own blog now. Genuinely the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a fine example of it.

    • Now that’s a fine compliment indeed! I will always try to give “my truths” even if it means
      cutting off my nose to spite my face, lol! Let me know when you create your blog so I can follow, learn, grow, laugh, or get mad ; )
      whatever emotions you stir. I’ve been meeting so many fine poets and writers and everything since I joined!
      It’s been great and eye opening.

      Thx again!

      ~Kg

  3. How often do you write your blogs? I enjoy them a lot

    • I try to write several times a week but doing music, etc. my schedule doesn’t always permit.
      As a whole I am pretty consistent. Even when I’m not writing online I keep tons of notebooks
      and journals and usually post my favorites. Please do subscribe to get emails of new posts!
      I’ll be adding several tomorrow ; )

  4. I Like this site your article is very nice , Thanks, very interesting article, keep up it coming 🙂

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