Lions, Tigers, Bears, Oh MY!

Jazmine Sullivan has a song that states she’s not scared of:

Lions, Tigers, & Bears

… with her lying ass.

What black person do you know unafraid of those animals!? I’m afraid I can not support or like the song because it’s simply not believable. It’s not called Mosquitoes, Flies, & Gnats.  If she had been Caucasian, I would’ve found that statement slightly credible. They do so love owning man eating animals or as they refer to them, “exotic pets”.

That song planted a seed of thought for me. Lately, I’ve found myself watching Human Prey on Animal Planet. It shows re enactments of individuals being attacked by wild animals. After two weeks surveillance, I’ve come to realize African-Americans are not attacked by wild animals…

After further reflection, I now know a profound truth black people get attacked by stray neighborhood dogs. This is only relative to youth, unless one is a crackhead who roams the streets in ghetto environs.  White people, on the other hand, get attacked by:

stray stingrays
stray sharks
stray penguins
stray zebras
stray lions
stray beavers
stray wolves
stray coyotes
stray bears
stray tigers
stray moose
stray kangaroos
stray snakes
stray crocodiles
stray cougars
stray jellyfish
stray alligators
stray possums
stray pigs
stray chickens
stray elephants

and stray dogs

which is tragic since they so love animals as apparent via their love for talking animals and animal animations. They love Lassie, Mr. Ed, Care Bears, and Simba. Disturbingly mistaking this fantasy world for reality- Poor Lil Tink Tinks.  They are brave and fearless where we exercise caution. This was evidenced to me as I watched The Haunting in Connecticut. Those little white children courageously played hide-n-seek in this house of Satan, demons, and evil spirits. I know your black mind assumes they hid together. No, their first feat of bravery was to split up and hide alone. They hid in dark cupboards and scary attics.
As a child, night time became the time for my sister and I to bond. This is bullshit for we were scared and did shit together. She went to the bathroom, I did. I went in the kitchen, she did. We did everything together. If EVVVVVVVVER we heard a noise that was unnatural, it meant an immediate field trip down the street to my grandmother’s house. This is bullshit for we ran out the house without locking a single door and hightailed it down the street like the hounds of hell were nipping at our heels.

Somehow, black people, lost that curiosity gene. We do not think, “let’s investigate”. Our minds say “Fuck that shit”. I think we were once enterprising curious beings.  We said, “What is that big boat? It is so massive.”  It led to our enslavement in America. And as the years passed, we learned to curb our inquisitive nature.

The moral of this note is “Curiosity killed the Blacks”.

by Kimberley Gladney©

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