So, singer/songwriter John Mayer felt it relevant—among comments that objectified his ex-girlfriend, homosexuals and Black people as a whole—to align his latent sexual preference with the former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan? This following Dateline, a TV news magazine, feeling the need to do an in-depth investigative report on why so many professionally successful Black Women are single. Conservative talk shows with largely white male audiences, continuously go in on mythical Black welfare queens, Michelle Obama, and women in general.
How is this news? Furthermore, why the need to create a colorful, off-color metaphor to illustrate how supposedly undesirable Black women are? Often, mainstream American media uses Black female sexuality as a thematic device to work out their own neurosis and scapegoat for insecurities, and this is no different. Once again, the Black Woman’s role is the “mule of the world”
(props to Sister Hurston).
Could it be that, despite being so deeply maligned throughout history, Black women still have the audacity to believe we are fabulous? The rude and completely out-of-line criticisms of Michelle Obama and her daughters, amount to so much thinly veiled jealousy. How dare we live in the White House? How dare we have the nerve to love ourselves and believe we deserve to live life to the fullest? Why should single black women “settle” or develop “more realistic” expectations? The reality is those who have fought the odds to achieve educational, professional, and material success should reasonably expect to have a romantic counterpart that is compatible in at least some ,if not all, these respects. Every other population in modern society is socialized to believe this. The “American Dream” nuclear family is built on this very concept.
How dare we be human? How dare we feel, think, live, and love?
- We may be loud at times, because we have a voice to be heard.
- We wear weave, rock our hair nappy or locced up while flashing long acrylic nails, bright colors and funky styles that accentuate our dangerous curves, because we appreciate beauty and express ourselves in adornment.
- We have attitude because somebody has to tell the truth, and yes we have high expectations of Black Men. We recognize the same courage, tenacity and ambition that fueled our achievement is inside of him, too.
Now, (apologies aside) contrary to their motivation, what the detractors fail to see is their ignorance and negativity only serve to make us stronger and more positive. The bombardment of negativity, mischaracterization and maliciousness will roll right off our backs, as it has since the beginning, and we will continue to be our beautifully human selves. As Katt Williams and Jill Scott have both taught us, haters are a necessary barometer and evidence of how great a job you are doing.
Black women must be doing something right!